I took a bunch of days off and finally made it back to work. As soon as I clocked in I'm told by the guy leaving that a guest requested a wheelchair because someone was being taken to the hospital. Yes, it was as vague a pass on as it sounds like. I get up to the room and these two hot chicks answer the door and tell me to come in. Sonofabtich, I walk in and find another not so hot chick, I mean she was hot but in the position she was in, she was not so hot even for my standards, sitting on the bed puking into a garbage can she'a holding on her lap. When I say puking, I mean puking, gagging, choking, grunting, loud pain moans coming from deep within her gut, smelling like a wet dog that just got fucked. I looked at her and made a "what in the fuck am I suppose to do with this sick bitch who probably has motherfucking swine flu" face. Her friends tell me that they just need help rolling her downstairs to a taxi. My first course of action was to offer to call paramedics because by the looks of it, this bitch might die before we make it to the lobby but the friends insist on taking a taxi to a hospital. Fair enough.

I inch the wheelchair closer to Sickly and that bitch continues to sit there face deep in a puke laced trashcan. I look at her friends like I'm not touching this bitch. She finally finds it withing herself to throw herself onto the wheelchair but when she does the violent thud of her falling onto the chair sends puke flying out of the trashcan all over her front.

What the fuck? I start walking towards the door but the other two broads ask me to wait while they finish putting on their makeup all the mean while the sick broad is still half choking on her own puke as I try not to breath.

On the way down I ask what the hell is wrong with Pig Flu and they tell me some bullshit about her having a reaction to some medication. Whateverinthefuck. I finally get her to the cab stand and the cabbies look at me like I'm a fucking dick and way more so of a dick than usual. I push the wheelchair next to the cab and once again Sickly just sits there gagging into the trashcan. Her friends look at me, I look at them and the cabbie looks at all of us wanting to refuse the ride. As her friends start to help her up, she once again finds her inner strength and throws herself into the cab, this time not spilling any puke on herself. Her friends tell me that they will bring the trashcan back and I tell them to fuck off, well, in my mind I told them to fuck off but in reality I told them to just throw it away. They thank me and give me $10 as if that's enough to get rid of the smell of puke that I had embedded in my nostrils for the rest of the day.