One of the worst thing about working at a hotel is holidays and the fact that unless you have some seniority you've got to work them.
Luckily I worked an a.m. shift and didn't have to put up with any extra tomfoolery. Today was extra slow until we found out some douchebag website posted that everyone should show up at our hotel if they wanted to get autographs and pictures with a fucking actor that everyone has been creaming their over.
Next fucking thing we know, this a ton of people loitering in our lobby. I didn't give a damn because I was thinking we were going to escort the fucking guy out the back door but for some unknown reason these fuckers decided to come out the fucking front door. I kicked everyone out before they made it down but then some wiseguy makes the decision to have a meet and greet on the damn sidewalk and that's when all mayhem broke loose.
I had fun pushing idiots out of the way, the worst was this fucking guy with a tiny baby who was in the middle of the crowd trying to push his way through with a camera in one hand and the fucking stupid kid in the other. I talked shit to him before calling him father of the year and then pushing him the fuck away.
The rest of the crowd for the most part were girls, one who was crying like someone had fucking died, so I guess that's the reason dude took time to take a picture with her but the dumb cow didn't even have a camera.
We finally loaded this fucker into his car and they got the fuck out of dodge. I looked at the groupies in disgust before rushing to get the fuck off work before something else stupid popped off.
All this autograph shit should be coming to and now and we should now be able to go back to being a regular douchebag hotel instead of a regular douchebag hotel with actors staying in it.
Happy 4th.
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Daily thoughts and encounters of a hotel security guard who loathes being a hotel security guard but is unable to find employment that doesn't make him come home and want to drive rusty nails into his eardrums.
Introduction
I was plenty miserable with my last hotel job, as a matter of fact; I am and have been completely disgusted with the entire hospitality business not long after being hired at an airport hotel in 1995. I started my hospitality career the same day O.J. was found not guilty.
Nevertheless, the hospitality industry has always been easy money even if it is run by a bunch of good for nothing, ass kissing, politics playing, cock douches that for some unbeknownst reason have been given the responsibility of running a hotel.
And with each passing semester that another person walks away with a hospitality degree, the hospitality industry sinks even lower as another underachiever worms their way into an industry which I love….if it wasn’t for all the idiots I’m forced to work with.
So, at the end of 2008, I decided to quit my job at a 5 Diamond Hotel, rape my 401K, pack my bags and head out West to California. Right about the time our economy started to freefall into the hell pits and beyond, I ended up in Oakland California. How bad could it be? Surely I’d have a pocket full of acid and back pack full of weed in no time and if all else fails, I thought, I could always find me a hotel job.
You guessed it, no acid and all else failed, so I suddenly found myself back working at a hotel, not just any hotel, a giant façade of an establishment filled with the biggest douche nozzles you’ll find in the Bay Area. The type of place where idiots think Ed Hardy shirts and faux hawks are cool.
And to top things off, someone thought it be a good idea to put me in the Security Department. The same guy who has absolutely no respect for authority, especially not some gay ass hotel security guard, however, I accepted the job but now, I hate the thought of my place of employment.
Most of my co-workers are good people and I work well with them but you know there always has to be one fat lazy cow who is a cancer and I just so happen to have to work with her.
I’ve spent the last year and some change attempting to protect a 400 plus room hotel from idiots, thieves, hookers and homeless people and that’s just our paying guests, not to mention every fucking con man in the greater San Francisco area.
I’ve always been a tipped hospitality employee who enjoyed his work but now I’m a douche bag security guard, who dresses in all black, wears a blue tooth ear piece, a black holder with a cpr mask and plastic gloves and because I figured if I was going to be a douche bag I was going to be the biggest douche bag I could be, a phone case on my belt.
Just because I hate my job doesn’t mean I’m not good at it, however, just because I'm good at my job doesn't mean I don't hate it, still with me?
Hopefully I'll be able to bring to all of you, just a little piece of my day, that will involve my daily dealings in our wanna be boutique, wanna be high class hotel, which is just a few steps above a pay by the hour crack den.
Welcome to my Hell.
Nevertheless, the hospitality industry has always been easy money even if it is run by a bunch of good for nothing, ass kissing, politics playing, cock douches that for some unbeknownst reason have been given the responsibility of running a hotel.
And with each passing semester that another person walks away with a hospitality degree, the hospitality industry sinks even lower as another underachiever worms their way into an industry which I love….if it wasn’t for all the idiots I’m forced to work with.
So, at the end of 2008, I decided to quit my job at a 5 Diamond Hotel, rape my 401K, pack my bags and head out West to California. Right about the time our economy started to freefall into the hell pits and beyond, I ended up in Oakland California. How bad could it be? Surely I’d have a pocket full of acid and back pack full of weed in no time and if all else fails, I thought, I could always find me a hotel job.
You guessed it, no acid and all else failed, so I suddenly found myself back working at a hotel, not just any hotel, a giant façade of an establishment filled with the biggest douche nozzles you’ll find in the Bay Area. The type of place where idiots think Ed Hardy shirts and faux hawks are cool.
And to top things off, someone thought it be a good idea to put me in the Security Department. The same guy who has absolutely no respect for authority, especially not some gay ass hotel security guard, however, I accepted the job but now, I hate the thought of my place of employment.
Most of my co-workers are good people and I work well with them but you know there always has to be one fat lazy cow who is a cancer and I just so happen to have to work with her.
I’ve spent the last year and some change attempting to protect a 400 plus room hotel from idiots, thieves, hookers and homeless people and that’s just our paying guests, not to mention every fucking con man in the greater San Francisco area.
I’ve always been a tipped hospitality employee who enjoyed his work but now I’m a douche bag security guard, who dresses in all black, wears a blue tooth ear piece, a black holder with a cpr mask and plastic gloves and because I figured if I was going to be a douche bag I was going to be the biggest douche bag I could be, a phone case on my belt.
Just because I hate my job doesn’t mean I’m not good at it, however, just because I'm good at my job doesn't mean I don't hate it, still with me?
Hopefully I'll be able to bring to all of you, just a little piece of my day, that will involve my daily dealings in our wanna be boutique, wanna be high class hotel, which is just a few steps above a pay by the hour crack den.
Welcome to my Hell.
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