The last two days have been pretty slow. A whole bunch of douche fucks in house and not too much of anything going on.
I walked up on a suspicious fellow today scoping out our bike rack. I'm fairly sure he was thinking whether or not he'd be able to stay a bike or five or maybe he was just looking at the bikes, either way I stared him down as though he'd already stole something and followed him the fuck off the property.
Our high tech surveillance cameras caught a whole fuck load of nothing on them because we're working with fucking with 1960's fucking technology.
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Daily thoughts and encounters of a hotel security guard who loathes being a hotel security guard but is unable to find employment that doesn't make him come home and want to drive rusty nails into his eardrums.
Introduction
I was plenty miserable with my last hotel job, as a matter of fact; I am and have been completely disgusted with the entire hospitality business not long after being hired at an airport hotel in 1995. I started my hospitality career the same day O.J. was found not guilty.
Nevertheless, the hospitality industry has always been easy money even if it is run by a bunch of good for nothing, ass kissing, politics playing, cock douches that for some unbeknownst reason have been given the responsibility of running a hotel.
And with each passing semester that another person walks away with a hospitality degree, the hospitality industry sinks even lower as another underachiever worms their way into an industry which I love….if it wasn’t for all the idiots I’m forced to work with.
So, at the end of 2008, I decided to quit my job at a 5 Diamond Hotel, rape my 401K, pack my bags and head out West to California. Right about the time our economy started to freefall into the hell pits and beyond, I ended up in Oakland California. How bad could it be? Surely I’d have a pocket full of acid and back pack full of weed in no time and if all else fails, I thought, I could always find me a hotel job.
You guessed it, no acid and all else failed, so I suddenly found myself back working at a hotel, not just any hotel, a giant façade of an establishment filled with the biggest douche nozzles you’ll find in the Bay Area. The type of place where idiots think Ed Hardy shirts and faux hawks are cool.
And to top things off, someone thought it be a good idea to put me in the Security Department. The same guy who has absolutely no respect for authority, especially not some gay ass hotel security guard, however, I accepted the job but now, I hate the thought of my place of employment.
Most of my co-workers are good people and I work well with them but you know there always has to be one fat lazy cow who is a cancer and I just so happen to have to work with her.
I’ve spent the last year and some change attempting to protect a 400 plus room hotel from idiots, thieves, hookers and homeless people and that’s just our paying guests, not to mention every fucking con man in the greater San Francisco area.
I’ve always been a tipped hospitality employee who enjoyed his work but now I’m a douche bag security guard, who dresses in all black, wears a blue tooth ear piece, a black holder with a cpr mask and plastic gloves and because I figured if I was going to be a douche bag I was going to be the biggest douche bag I could be, a phone case on my belt.
Just because I hate my job doesn’t mean I’m not good at it, however, just because I'm good at my job doesn't mean I don't hate it, still with me?
Hopefully I'll be able to bring to all of you, just a little piece of my day, that will involve my daily dealings in our wanna be boutique, wanna be high class hotel, which is just a few steps above a pay by the hour crack den.
Welcome to my Hell.
Nevertheless, the hospitality industry has always been easy money even if it is run by a bunch of good for nothing, ass kissing, politics playing, cock douches that for some unbeknownst reason have been given the responsibility of running a hotel.
And with each passing semester that another person walks away with a hospitality degree, the hospitality industry sinks even lower as another underachiever worms their way into an industry which I love….if it wasn’t for all the idiots I’m forced to work with.
So, at the end of 2008, I decided to quit my job at a 5 Diamond Hotel, rape my 401K, pack my bags and head out West to California. Right about the time our economy started to freefall into the hell pits and beyond, I ended up in Oakland California. How bad could it be? Surely I’d have a pocket full of acid and back pack full of weed in no time and if all else fails, I thought, I could always find me a hotel job.
You guessed it, no acid and all else failed, so I suddenly found myself back working at a hotel, not just any hotel, a giant façade of an establishment filled with the biggest douche nozzles you’ll find in the Bay Area. The type of place where idiots think Ed Hardy shirts and faux hawks are cool.
And to top things off, someone thought it be a good idea to put me in the Security Department. The same guy who has absolutely no respect for authority, especially not some gay ass hotel security guard, however, I accepted the job but now, I hate the thought of my place of employment.
Most of my co-workers are good people and I work well with them but you know there always has to be one fat lazy cow who is a cancer and I just so happen to have to work with her.
I’ve spent the last year and some change attempting to protect a 400 plus room hotel from idiots, thieves, hookers and homeless people and that’s just our paying guests, not to mention every fucking con man in the greater San Francisco area.
I’ve always been a tipped hospitality employee who enjoyed his work but now I’m a douche bag security guard, who dresses in all black, wears a blue tooth ear piece, a black holder with a cpr mask and plastic gloves and because I figured if I was going to be a douche bag I was going to be the biggest douche bag I could be, a phone case on my belt.
Just because I hate my job doesn’t mean I’m not good at it, however, just because I'm good at my job doesn't mean I don't hate it, still with me?
Hopefully I'll be able to bring to all of you, just a little piece of my day, that will involve my daily dealings in our wanna be boutique, wanna be high class hotel, which is just a few steps above a pay by the hour crack den.
Welcome to my Hell.
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