I got to sleep in a little today because I worked a mid shift, which basically means coming in to a whole bunch of trash. Walking into my hotel at 11a.m. means that just enough time has passed for the a.m. shift to fuck a bunch of shit up, on top of having to sweep up all of the graveyard's busy work that for some reason or another never gets done even though everyone is well aware of all the down time there is on the overnight shift.
After attempting to figure out why I have to send a phone charger, which was left by in a room, to Montre-fucking-al for free, the Fed Ex Ground man showed up with way too many packages at any one time. While sorting through packages I realized that I never should have showed up to work sober.
When I finally got around to shipping Ms. Iforgetmyshitinhotelroomsandthenexpecttohavethemsendittomeforfree's charger, it wasn't Fed Ex Ground who was now screwing me, it was the horrible software UPS expects its customer's to use. I ended up setting up the pickup of one package 7 times before actually being able to print the special invoices required to ship international.
At this point, I had been nowhere in the hotel but in and around my immediate work area. It wasn't long after when my relief called in sick for his shift. Call ins at hotel's almost always end up screwing someone over, especially now, because even though we are shortstaffed before this last guy quit, not only is he not getting replaced but more people are about to be cut. Sweet, nothing beats not knowing whether you'll even be working some horrible job in the coming weeks.
With only about two hours of my shift left, I started to get antsy with doing clerical work all day so I decided to put on my suit jacket and walk the perimeter and see if I couldn't find a homeless person to maybe tell me how much I suck but other than the normal cock nozzles in the area, my last two hours of work were fairly uneventful. At one point, we received a call that came through as "an urgent situation at the front door that required Security's presence". The blood started flowing, filled with energy drinks and shots, my co-worker and I raced through the back hallways, half knocking down Sales girls leaving for the day, pushing a Room Service attendant into a trash can, weaving around bellman moving boxes in the back office, slamming the door into the lobby off its hinges....only to be directed by a half grinning bellman, wondering why we were in such a huff, towards the front sidewalk, where we found two towncar drivers with giant vaginas bleeding all over the front of the hotel because some other driver was trying to steal their runs.
I looked at them with my "someone should kick you in your pussies" face, turned to my coworker and shook my head and walked away in disgust as I made my way to the bar to stare creepily at our bar girl and ride out the rest of my shift.
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